Monday, July 7, 2008

Getting over it...maybe.

Okay. I think I am finally getting it. I guess I'm finally starting to understand. After all of these mixed signals and contradictory conversations I'm almost able to step back and go "okay, never mind." Clearly you are a little mixed up. You need some time to think. Some time to figure out what you want. Or maybe you already know...and since you do, you aren't willing to settle for anything less.
Just so you know, I'm not less. Just different maybe.
And just because I may not have had all the experiences you have had or haven't lived quite as long doesn't mean I can't or don't understand. There are a lot of things that you have never experienced that only I could tell you stories about. There is a lot of stuff that has already "corrupted me" far worse than anything you could ever do.
So I'm going to stop trying so hard. Because I shouldn't pursue what I can't have. You have made it clear that you do it all the time, that your emotions can be turned off, that you can experience something that most would find exceedingly emotional and simply move forward never once thinking about how others feel about your actions.
Well I can't. I play hard and fast. I look back and try to be proud of what I have done. And you clearly don't want to be one of my fond memories.
So stop. Stop saying those things you know I want to hear just so you can get yours. I think I finally have the strength to get out before I get abused.
So here goes...
No more waiting for you to say something I want to hear.
No more waiting for you to make the move I want you to make.
I'm simply waiting for something better to come along.



unless you are ready to be something better.

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