I'll just type out my journal entries in here.
but not today.
I really did have a plan for this post...but then I got scared.
I really want a cookie right now.
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Sunday, September 14, 2008
You are the only one who reads this.
Thanks for helping me not be awkward.
It's nice to finally be comfortable with someone I like a lot.
:)
It's nice to finally be comfortable with someone I like a lot.
:)
Monday, September 8, 2008
Overwhelmed...
and unsure of how to continue on.
I thought I knew what I wanted, but it gets further away with each step I take. No man can serve two masters and thus far I have served more than I can count, my inability to do what I truly want is catching up and its getting frustrating trying to live in the now when all I can see in this endless tunnel is a light so distant I'm not sure if I'm moving in the right direction.
New people, new faces: a quick distraction from the actual problem which seems to easily hide behind daily ballet warm-ups and lunches at home and taking out the trash and laughing with a friend. Making the most of where I am? I don't think I know how to do that yet.
And where is this pressure coming from? It's not from some parental voice that wants me to be something bigger than I already am. I've made it farther than they thought I could. It's not from a confidant who wants whats best and knows I can do better. They are proud of what they have befriended and want to be a part of whatever I choose to become next.
The problem is me.
I've forced myself into believing I'm never good enough and that nothing can satisfy me.
Thus far this has gotten me where I want...but now I don't know what to want next.
Where do I go from here? What's next? How can I prepare when I don't know what is coming next or even what I want?
I thought I knew what I wanted, but it gets further away with each step I take. No man can serve two masters and thus far I have served more than I can count, my inability to do what I truly want is catching up and its getting frustrating trying to live in the now when all I can see in this endless tunnel is a light so distant I'm not sure if I'm moving in the right direction.
New people, new faces: a quick distraction from the actual problem which seems to easily hide behind daily ballet warm-ups and lunches at home and taking out the trash and laughing with a friend. Making the most of where I am? I don't think I know how to do that yet.
And where is this pressure coming from? It's not from some parental voice that wants me to be something bigger than I already am. I've made it farther than they thought I could. It's not from a confidant who wants whats best and knows I can do better. They are proud of what they have befriended and want to be a part of whatever I choose to become next.
The problem is me.
I've forced myself into believing I'm never good enough and that nothing can satisfy me.
Thus far this has gotten me where I want...but now I don't know what to want next.
Where do I go from here? What's next? How can I prepare when I don't know what is coming next or even what I want?
Sunday, September 7, 2008
Our Generation
It's funny what technology has done to communication. Now people can date each other with out ever even meeting them.
I was thinking about this as I texted for the 30948980 someone I'm not even sure I know that well...but could potentially be an excellent "other half."
What has happened to our generation when you can have serious relationship with someone without ever meeting them face to face?
I was thinking about this as I texted for the 30948980 someone I'm not even sure I know that well...but could potentially be an excellent "other half."
What has happened to our generation when you can have serious relationship with someone without ever meeting them face to face?
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