knowing that the idea of you may be what i wanted more than anything was the hardest realization of all. you seemed so right for me. i fit into your world so perfectly. but only the parts you were willing to show me. while i shouldn't have listened to anyone else, your voice should have been my one lighthouse, i couldn't help but be carried away by the overwhelming words that everyone else kept feeling it was their duty to deliver to me.

and for that i am sorry.

i learned my lesson. don't jump into soon. when people tell you what you want to hear, tread carefully. but trust. trust until you can't. not only until you are told you can't.

but now i really can't. because what i know, what i know i shouldn't know, and what i'm scared to tell you i know...it ruins everything. i can't tell you the truth and i don't want to lie. so it has to end.

i'll miss you so much. i'll miss what we had. and i wish i had been able to give it my all instead of cautiously wading in only ankle deep. i'll try harder next time. whether it's with or without you.

but you have to promise me the truth. because i truly am addicted to it.