Thursday, December 31, 2009

New Years Eve 2009

New Year's Eve and I'm choosing to sleep it in I guess.

Yay 2010!

hope its better than 2009. Not that it was that bad...I just hope I make more decisions I can be proud of and want to talk about in 2010.

Guess its off to bed. I'll wake up to a new fresh start while everyone else is getting rid of their hang overs.

my life is silly. but I'm getting used to being alone. I don't mind it.
Been thinking a lot about resolutions and things in my life I want to change and make better.

It's hard to make a list of EVERYTHING you want to improve...and I think it is kind of silly that it's only recommended one time a year. Why can't each month bring about new month resolutions? Every Sunday be a time to pick new goals to achieve?

I want to be happy. I think that's number one. It seems like I've lately been hitting some pretty high highs and some really low lows. I don't want to be so emotionally erratic. It's not fun at all. And I honestly feel like it is keeping me from being able to be the kind of person I would want to be friends with.

So I think maybe that's my whole resolution. And I suppose that all resolutions kind of come down to that one anyway. Whether its losing weight, or making more money- everyone essentially only makes resolutions in a pursuit of actually finding happiness.

But I think mine may need a bit more internal work.

So my resolutions are to reflect more. To appreciate what I do have. To see all the beauty that exists so abundantly in my life. It's easy to forget those things when I'm mentally tormenting myself for everything I can't do or have failed at.

It's time I become my own biggest fan.

I certainly deserve one.

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

waiting for the deal breaker.